If you notice the subtitle of my blog you will see I say "My Partner's Parkinson's". He and I have been married for 12 years - 12 years this Sunday. We've been together for 14 years and were friends before that for a year or so. As we all know, marriage, as well as other long-term relationship, have their ups and downs. I like to call marriage a roller coaster. We've been on that ride, especially the past couple years. It's mainly due to dealing with my depressive episodes, my husband not understanding it and other things that are not in our control.
My husband is a great guy and is also a sports aficionado. He is a team player in our family, the coach, a manager. I see myself as the co-coach/ manager. Sometimes one or both of us can't coach the team. Sometimes we are on the DL for a while. When this happens, the team cannot play right. There are just the 3 of us in our little family but as my husband/partner says sometimes our moods not only affect our son, but other family members, and even our pets. He would like everyone to be a team player because the team does not work with out the help of everyone. He will say to me, "This family does not work without you!" when I get depressed and upset. It doesn't work without him either. Since his diagnosis, he has taken the disease on. He is in great shape, strong and believes exercise is one of the most important things to battle Parkinson's. Exercise is also very important to battle depression & bi-polarism and other diseases, like arthritis and diabetes.
We are partners in these battles. That is the way we see it. Somedays it takes its toll on one or both of us. We have termed us "Shaky" and "Shakier". I shake because of a familial tremor and then it's heightened by the medicines I take. Then of course, there is my husband... Oh, names of endearment... We are partners in this fight and will continue to be for a long time.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
That's The Diagnosis? Really?
I see a doctor, a psychiatrist, every few months. She diagnosed me with severe depression early on in my visits. Now, she adjusts my meds based on my feelings, mood, energy, sleeping habits and what is going on in my life. I've been doing this for four years now.
How though? Psychiatrists diagnose you and give you prescriptions. They ask you A LOT questions abut family, home life, life history, health history, etc. Sometimes they ask you to fill out worksheets with a quiz or a mood scale on it. This is how they make a diagnosis. There is no blood test. There are no X-rays. No head scans, at least for most patients. Because the diagnoses for these diseases are based mostly on the patient's feelings, how does one know if the diagnosis is true? I noticed how the doctor "rules out" other mental illnesses by asking symptoms, recent or past mood swings, or any actions or thoughts out of the ordinary. There are no PHYSICAL tests for a mental illness. Just a ruling out and ruling in based on symptoms. It almost seems just a little unscientific being there is no physical test for it. But, it is a diagnosed and real disease that some people still don't believe in. Because one's head is being diagnosed does not mean the illness is all in one's mind.
My husband told me he was having tremors in his right hand and some in his right leg. He made a doctor's appointment because of it. His primary doctor sent him for an MRI based in his symptoms. He was informed the MRI was clear - no tumors, no abnormalities. We both breathed a sigh of relief. However, his doctor wanted him to follow up with a neurologist because the symptoms were ongoing and it was not clear why the tremors were happening. My husband also had pain in his right shoulder and he has never had a good sense of smell. Off to the neurologist we went.
The exam went well, at least that is what I thought until the end. I sat in on his visit and all the muscle exercises he made him do seemed to be fine. Then, he asked him to walk down the hall. He noticed my husbands right arm was not swinging when he walked. This is a sign of Parkinson's. Five minutes later we heard his diagnosis, Parkinson's. We were both shocked. I immediately protested and said, "But the MRI was clear!!" The doctor then informed us that Parkinson's can't be detected from an MRI, a blood test, and X-ray or anything except for a muscle test and ruling everything else out. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain. I never knew this before. I just thought you could detect it through brain scans and/or blood tests. Well, needless to say we were stunned for quite a while after that. It was not what we hoped. As I learned quickly, Parkinson's is also diagnosed in an almost unscientific way.
So here we were, my husband and I diagnosed over a few years with chemical imbalances in our brains that can't be diagnosed the way most people think a disease needs to be proved to be "real". Who would have thought? But the difference between our diagnoses is that one is a familiar disease a major celebrity and many others have had for years. People know it is a serious disease. Well, the other is a disease celebrities and many others have had for years but don't like to talk about, but it is a serious disease and it still carries a stigma.
How though? Psychiatrists diagnose you and give you prescriptions. They ask you A LOT questions abut family, home life, life history, health history, etc. Sometimes they ask you to fill out worksheets with a quiz or a mood scale on it. This is how they make a diagnosis. There is no blood test. There are no X-rays. No head scans, at least for most patients. Because the diagnoses for these diseases are based mostly on the patient's feelings, how does one know if the diagnosis is true? I noticed how the doctor "rules out" other mental illnesses by asking symptoms, recent or past mood swings, or any actions or thoughts out of the ordinary. There are no PHYSICAL tests for a mental illness. Just a ruling out and ruling in based on symptoms. It almost seems just a little unscientific being there is no physical test for it. But, it is a diagnosed and real disease that some people still don't believe in. Because one's head is being diagnosed does not mean the illness is all in one's mind.
My husband told me he was having tremors in his right hand and some in his right leg. He made a doctor's appointment because of it. His primary doctor sent him for an MRI based in his symptoms. He was informed the MRI was clear - no tumors, no abnormalities. We both breathed a sigh of relief. However, his doctor wanted him to follow up with a neurologist because the symptoms were ongoing and it was not clear why the tremors were happening. My husband also had pain in his right shoulder and he has never had a good sense of smell. Off to the neurologist we went.
The exam went well, at least that is what I thought until the end. I sat in on his visit and all the muscle exercises he made him do seemed to be fine. Then, he asked him to walk down the hall. He noticed my husbands right arm was not swinging when he walked. This is a sign of Parkinson's. Five minutes later we heard his diagnosis, Parkinson's. We were both shocked. I immediately protested and said, "But the MRI was clear!!" The doctor then informed us that Parkinson's can't be detected from an MRI, a blood test, and X-ray or anything except for a muscle test and ruling everything else out. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain. I never knew this before. I just thought you could detect it through brain scans and/or blood tests. Well, needless to say we were stunned for quite a while after that. It was not what we hoped. As I learned quickly, Parkinson's is also diagnosed in an almost unscientific way.
So here we were, my husband and I diagnosed over a few years with chemical imbalances in our brains that can't be diagnosed the way most people think a disease needs to be proved to be "real". Who would have thought? But the difference between our diagnoses is that one is a familiar disease a major celebrity and many others have had for years. People know it is a serious disease. Well, the other is a disease celebrities and many others have had for years but don't like to talk about, but it is a serious disease and it still carries a stigma.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
When I started this blog I was recovering from a deep depressive episode. I wanted to let the world, well, at least a little part of the world know many kinds of people suffer from depression. My other reason was to let others know the symptoms, the hopelessness it makes one feel and the sadness that is so difficult to escape.
I believe that I have accomplished these goals personally. You can read my entries and know how I feel as others do feel about this awful disease. Severe Depression is recurring for me. It doesn't go away no matter what medications I am on, but the meds do allow me to function.
In the year and a half since I started this so many things have happened. Many more sad than happy. I cannot go into to too many details because they are private, personal and I just don't feel like discussing it on a public forum like this.
However, the one thing I want to discuss on my blog is being the partner of a someone who has been diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. My husband is 46 and one of the sad things that happened last year is at the age of 45, he was told he had Parkinson's. I would like to share in this forum how he was diagnosed, the symptoms to look out for and how he is fighting this battle head on. I also want to talk about how little information there seems to be for younger people with this diagnosis. And, there is even less info for the partners or "caregivers" as we are called. I have to say though, the best information comes through Michael J. Fox's website and emails. He is really the face of Parkinson's and being a young man when he was told he had it helps younger people stay informed.
I have changed the name of the blog because, as you will read, my husband and I have something in common - our brain's are a little "off". The chemicals in our heads do not function properly. I would like to inform you of what is happening with us both as we fight our diseases together.
Thanks, if you continue to read this blog.
I believe that I have accomplished these goals personally. You can read my entries and know how I feel as others do feel about this awful disease. Severe Depression is recurring for me. It doesn't go away no matter what medications I am on, but the meds do allow me to function.
In the year and a half since I started this so many things have happened. Many more sad than happy. I cannot go into to too many details because they are private, personal and I just don't feel like discussing it on a public forum like this.
However, the one thing I want to discuss on my blog is being the partner of a someone who has been diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. My husband is 46 and one of the sad things that happened last year is at the age of 45, he was told he had Parkinson's. I would like to share in this forum how he was diagnosed, the symptoms to look out for and how he is fighting this battle head on. I also want to talk about how little information there seems to be for younger people with this diagnosis. And, there is even less info for the partners or "caregivers" as we are called. I have to say though, the best information comes through Michael J. Fox's website and emails. He is really the face of Parkinson's and being a young man when he was told he had it helps younger people stay informed.
I have changed the name of the blog because, as you will read, my husband and I have something in common - our brain's are a little "off". The chemicals in our heads do not function properly. I would like to inform you of what is happening with us both as we fight our diseases together.
Thanks, if you continue to read this blog.
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