I haven't felt very good physically for the past few days. I think chalk it up to exhaustion. A long week and weekend. Getting ready for fun events this past weekend and having it all happen and then, it's over. You clean up from the party and the people and recall all the fun. Then it hits you - it's gone, in the past. Now what do you do? If you are me, you sleep in a lot, take some naps, and turn in early. Ahhhh, SLEEP - the 2nd best thing to do in bed ; ). Just been doing that a lot this week on and off but mostly on. No energy really flowing at all. Today I started to have an anxiety attack. Why? I have no idea. My chest hurt. I was nauseous. Head felt light. And, of course, I was tired. I layed down and could have slept all day long but I was able to get up and face the evening. (Thank God for my husband. He was there for me and my son today) So I took a long relaxing shower and thought I was cured for the day but I had a feeling I get often like I want to jump right out of my skin. That is a real feeling!! I've heard others say it and say they feel it, it is true. That's how I felt. No, no, that's how I feel. Skin crawling, not in a creepy way but in a "what's going on" way. Hands jittery, nervous but not sure what for. Heart beating a little faster but not for excitement or fear but for something I can't put into words.
I really had a very fun weekend. Rocked the teacher's lunch, had a beautiful day on Saturday for my son's communion and in between saw a dear old friend who made me laugh and remember good times. Now during that time a musketeer was missing and his absence was definitely felt with me. That is how I will refer to him, a musketeer. He will be missing often but he will be back someday. I just missed him a lot. Eating piles of the food we had, busting his jokes, helping me out, joining in all the fun. I felt like, "Something's not right. Something is missing". I have to get used to this and hope I will but it may cause me some skin crawling moments like today.
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